wtf really actually.I just got called BIAN TAI (crazy or psychotic) on msn by a really really unaquainted classmate who omg,i dun think i've ever talked to in real life. wth rite? and that when he was actually asking me for a favour to tell him what time class starts tomoro. Seriously wat is wrong with him? First he thinks i can't read chinese and then somewhat offend me about my weight. And then next he calls me a mummy under both definitions of your motherly mother and the mouldily-bandaged monster from the grave. AND THEN he calls me BIAN TAI. Remember, i am just his kind-hearted classmate who would seriously rather be left alone by people like him. We're not even friends, for the record. I just absolutely have no idea how to communicate with this guy really. The obligation to be polite in me just Disapparated. Why bother? I really really RARELY rant about people here in my personal space (except Fat B about sports day,remember?) and congratz to him,really,for being moronic enough to earn himself a whole post to himself. Great work, really.

READ : You're the one who's psychotic. thank you very much.

And wth,for the thousand-and-one-th time i've told you, I CAN FREAKING READ CHINESE,OKAY??? Quit offending me in the language that i freaking actually know. Thanks.

(whoah. that doesn't sound like a post i'd write. But judging from this i think u can gauge just how much this guy annoyed me. Aye. Pardon me just this one nite,won't ya?zzz.)

Currently feeling: infuriated

Can you forgive me for being totally random in this post?Ah well, given that majority of my readers are me,myself and of course,I, I'd give it a go. So yeah. Here goes the random-ness that is my life most recently.

1. In about approximately 24 mins more (if my maths dun fail me T.T) Miss Batu Ungu a.k.a. Ning Joe will be turning 91 OOPS. I meant 19. Hahahaha. (i hope she never reads this). probably the most demanding bday girl ever.bleh. Hahahah.and the best friend too. Happy birthday,siao cha bohhhhhh~!Tomoro stay at home and sleep la k?

2. Advertorial.Advertorial.Advertorial. Freaking read the word and you'd realize it's n advertisement of some sort! Read today's newspaper FRONTPAGE at the bottom and you'd see some report of a two-legged creature with many heads sighted in KL. Albeit the picture looking so photoshopped already,i actually fell for the ad when i first read it after my mum told me randomly about it...both of us not realizing it's an advertorial. Gawd,i din realize it until i excitedly told carmen about it. Smart huh? I feel like an idiot. Way to go,Ath.

3. All is calm now for me (or a bit too calm,but ah well.) for now. He really really got it clear this time. Or should I say he finally got what he needed to hear to let go and move on. I've got to admit i handled it so unmaturedly, but i won't keep blaming myself anymore for how things turned out because I know there isn't anything much left i can do to make it better without lying to anyone,him or me. I think the best i can do for him is to stay away as he wishes, but somehow it hurts every now and then to see him avoiding me on purpose at times. Ah well.

4. Freaking flasher who can't keep his freaking small d*ck to himself. Find a bathroom or a REALLY empty street or something where NO ONE can see you! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT SICK MIND OF YOURS?? Poor my eyeballs and traumatised mind. Sherene was right,i should've screamed and threw a stone right at him. It happened around 6-7.m. smth at the lower ground corridor at my school. Luckily I had Wenny with me at that time but damn,i was the unlucky one who saw it. I need dettol for my eyes,thanks.

5. Congratz btw to M'sia for being so unique that she is moving backwards as opposed to FORWARD with ENGLISH for most advanced countries. I have no idea what they were thinking and am freaking devastated about it. No love for reversal to BM,hng. Don't get me started about this. I've already hurt so many ppl's eardrums talking about this issue.

6. People come and people go.

So few come and don't go.

Won't we find each other some day and just stay?

I can't wait to give my love, but it's just not the right time and not the right person.

We'll find each other. Someday.

Promise.

Currently feeling: reflective

I don't think I have ever missed the rain this much.

Today's Bio class was postponed to Saturday,so I had the whole afternoon to myself. Well, not entirely, but there goes. These days are rare. *grips on it as hard as possible*It FINALLY RAINED TODAY! It's really been ages since i've actually seen rain and gawd, do i miss it. The weather's been so freaking hot these past few months it almost won over my sanity. One afternoon i was just complaining about it to my dad and when he told me this kind of weather could last til' September my jaw nearly dropped beyond rescue. September is MONTHS AWAY! How could it be that there won't be rain til then?? Has the weather always been this warm or has global warming finally reached my doorstep?  the world is coming to an enddd! *shivers*

And exactly how much do i miss the rain? Well,i miss it enough to even DREAM about it. Huge, fat raindrops falling on my head. Couldn't be any happier. Anyway, this was the first time in a long long time since it rained in the afternoon. What a cooling effect it has,phew~~But this was not the first rain in months though. The first rain came in the middle of the night. Jolie scratched my parents' door with her paw when it finally poured,as though informing my Dad that rain has finally come. Guess i wasn't the only one excited about the rain. Bubbly,as usual, couldn't really care any lesser and slept on.

Happy Father's Day, Dad! (card made by Yours truly)

It can actually be quite a liberation without relationship problems,  i have recently come to discover. Since that day, he has not bugged me about it and seemed to understand the situation, which i hope is true. (although he did mention afterwards about how he has not given up yet.) I'm just somehow relieved that i overcame another hurdle again. I'm getting tired of it but i can't do much as long as i refuse to let go of the friendship.So i'm basically just strolling through it. That is,until the next bomb goes off. Tick tock tick tock~ So,for now,nothing much is bugging me in terms of relationships and this can be pretty liberating actually. Spares me some time for myself and studies too. Ah what fun lol.

Signing off,

Ath xxx

Currently feeling: sleepy

Believe it or not,this is the 3rd time i'm writing a post. Thanks to my err,in Vien's words,'wood' computer that kept on restarting itself every now and then WHEN i am writing a post. Not the greatest come-back, but just bear with it,k? Anyway,it's been kinda long,ain't it? All of you must be wondering did I really let myself slide away just because of the break up? (psst,so pathetic wan meh??) Cheer,cuz of course I didn't. Can you believe how much of a teary,(how come i can't find back the words i used to describe myself before this anymore??)in other words,pathetic ragdoll (it's just a metaphor,btw.I don't think i lost a pound since the breakup.LOL.) a break up can turn you into?But as she sings,it did get 'better with time',much better actually.Long gone are the days where I cry everday after school. What a waste of tears, actually. But nvm, it's from it that I had my lesson.

It's true when they say you learn a bit more about yourself through relationships.and ultimately,from the end of it. I think i haven't done so much of growing up since I was an infant,haha. It made me realize that this is just one hurdle that comes along in life,many more to come. So in the end, I just grit my teeth let it pass. And thank god it passed. For now,I'm just somewhat content. God's been good to me, he gives me what I truly and only need at the moment. The rest, is saved up for later.

So what was I up to besides suffering from Acute Heart-Breaking Syndrome (AHBS)?A rojak of a lil' of this and another bit of that,i guess.

Anyway,to be honest, this is my n-th attempt to finally,actually post this up. Originally i'm really supposed to be updating you guys with a welcome speech (did i include this previously?) and sorts,but tonight,sigh. I think i just broke someone's heart.No,no,not that jerk...but one other certain fellow. For the previous month or so he crossed my path (or shud i say i crossed his?No idea. )Not gonna elaborate,but let's just say all the things he did was always what i had wanted to have a taste of (innocence,my gawd) but somehow,some part of me knew it wasn't right. There are people who are great and treat you well,but only to a certain level like good friends, and somehow you just can't imagine going beyond that. Besides that, the timing isn't all great anyway.

Maybe i did make a mistake before this when he tried to withdraw. I held him back by a sadly,breakable thread and i bet he knew just as well. but still he held on. Freaking abandonment issues,sigh. He says he will respect whatever decision i make, but there he goes asking for a reason. It's not too much that he's asking for, but i just don't know how to give. I just don't want to have to lose him as a friend. But i know i've dragged it for too long. The scale has obviously tilted to one side, and he undeniably deserves an explanation from me, as much as i hate to think about how i may have to get ready on losing a good friend again.  Before this perhaps i told a white lie to keep it going on, but i noe he can't keep chasing me forever.I've got to stop being so selfish. And so i guess it ends tonight.

g'nite as we both let go.

(p.s. :notice the vastly different tone in paragraphs (1,2,3) and (4,5)? Written separately at two different times of a different day and night.)

Currently feeling: cynical

In the last two hours of 2008...i hope everyone's feeling alright...even if i'm not.

Here's to a great year ahead, i hope.

Cheers.